APPLE SEEDS: “I gotta dream”


APPLE SEEDS: “I gotta dream”

This week, while on-line banking (one of my favourite technological conveniences) I was asked to enter a contest to win something.   The ballot consisted of my answer (on Facebook of course) to a skill-testing question.  What would I do with more free time?

Hmmm.  So many options.  My brain immediately started the familiar trek down several paths at once.  My frontal lobe was congested with interests and activities that have fallen off my radar as a result of “too many things, too little time”.

I started to lean towards the ever-present desire to develop skills that fit into my “I gotta dream” scenario of musical virtuoso – violin, guitar, perhaps the accordion, which is totally underappreciated.

Practicality somehow wormed its way into my thought process.  Is it enough to just want to have enough time to clean my house?   ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Too mundane, and really, a sparkle can be found in many places other than my sink.

The angel on my shoulder started to list the organizations that I have advocated for years, but to be honest, the advocacy did not include many hours of my day.   I could become a better member of my community.  There is so much to do.

But wait… Community Theatre!  I dabbled in my early 20s, prior to career and family responsibilities.  After recently attending the incredibly engaging performance of ‘The Music Man’ at Pinnacle Playhouse, I knew that, with a little more time, I could finally release the drama queen locked inside.

Now… some of my closest friends and family may argue that they have already seen all they care to.  As an aside, BRAVO to the cast and crew for a ‘spellbinding’ performance. 

The list continued to grow…   Gardening, knitting, taking up pottery. 

Suddenly, in the myriad of synapses, an epiphany blazed in my brain.

I need more time to play with our granddaughter.  If it comes down to just one thing, that is it.

I am gratefully aware of how fortunate we are to reside in the same community as our sweet, three year old Azailia (yes … like the flower but, as is popular in this generation, the spelling is as unique as the child). 

At least weekly, the door opens and we hear her running across the room squealing “Nana – Poppi”.   The unsolicited “I ‘ove you” (yes… el’s are a still a bit tricky) accompanied with a big squeeze is still top shelf in the wonderment category.  To quote Poppi and the Grinch -  “His heart grew 2 sizes that day”. 

I have come to discover that grandparents should be retired.  It is the natural order of things.  We are supposed to, at a whim, pluck up the children, play in the park and go for ice-cream, just because it is sunny. 

Days should be filled with hide-and-seek, baking cookies, stickers and beanie babies and end with bubble baths, stories and cuddles. 

Not every day, we are too tired.  

Unlike parents, who are forced to do other things (work, clean, cook, shop, discipline) we, as grandparents, focus completely on being that grandkids’ favourite people.  It isn’t easy.  And it is exhausting.  That lovable, extremely active child goes home, and we just lay down, revelling in the inertia.

Back to my point… Retirement is required to take advantage of the full grandparent experience.  I always cited in jest, the old saying “I am set for the future – as long as I die on Tuesday” with a degree of cynicism and reality. 

I am not ready to let go of the ‘things’ that define who I am.  To further complicate it, I am not even sure what comprises those ‘things’.  Some I recognize …  I love music, theatre and comedy; I need an apple and a belly laugh a day. 

Some I haven’t discovered.  Or at least, that is my hope.

But what I do know, is that my “I gotta dream” scenario stars me as ‘Nana’.  

Read More: Opinion, Apple Seeds



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